HAPPY CHRIST BIRTHDAY 2010 …..And a BLESSED 2011 to you all.

What can I say folks, what a year. Some things gained/achieved, some delays, some pain (real pain) but mostly beauty, -the beauty of the realisation that what mattered last year no longer matters, that the dreams that didn’t come true will mos-def come true next year …but mostly –that without God, -we can achieve –nothing. I pray Gods love, his truth, his Blessings, his grace and his guiding arms around you….Big love, Paulina xxx




And to see us through CHRIST BIRTHDAY 2010 and into the new year…the very special Guvna B, a MOBO award winning UK based, gospel artist of Ghanaian origin, singing the heart-felt 'I Need You' with the highly talented Cynthia Erivo. I truly love this brother and believe that 2011 is his and your –year (Amen).. So enjoy! For more information about Guvna B or to buy/download his music visit: http://www.guvnab.com/

Please Note…....

I can no longer access my paulina_448@hotmail.com address folks! I can only be contacted/reached via my nanaaba69@hotmail.co.uk account –right now. I’m kind of gutted as I no longer have the various emails you guys have been sending me over the past year and a half, -anyway (as always), if you have any news, events or any other fabulous info/happenings concerning the Ghanaian community globally –do get in touch via my nanaaba address…


Thanks
Paulina x

I know ‘My Redeemer Lives’ – [as sang by Nicole C Mullen]

I don’t know what's going on; –my mind wants to write about fashion but my heart and soul –wants to [only] praise God –right now. Well......today –I found out that I love God more than what –anyone could possibly think of me! He is bigger than fashion, bigger than my fears, bigger than my wants –and there I say it.....bigger than my dreams. I know that my Redeemer lives –and I’m not ashamed of the gospel.

*Don’t make anyone bigger than you; they are the same as you –but remember, -to never make yourself bigger than God. You must have reverence for God –because without it, -a person is never [truly] beautiful.

My mother and I have always had a somewhat ...non existence relationship [most of my life]. But a few days ago, -we met up and embraced, cried together and let all the past go.....all by Gods perfect grace..... And I feel so light; so free, so Blessed, so redeemed, so born again, –so happy....so alive –and beautiful. A lifetime of not feeling a certain kind of love –has ended. My heart’s no longer missing a piece...Thank you daddy God.....Paulina Opoku-Gyimah...xx

Redeemed:
To recover ownership of by paying a specified sum.
To fulfill (a pledge, for example).
To set free; rescue or ransom.
To save from a state of sinfulness and its consequences.
To make up for:
To restore the honor, worth, or reputation of:

Christ Birthday 2009 was the best....

I have been meaning to put up my Christ Birthday 2009 photos forever. My baby [Alexander ‘Jojo’], his father and me –had a really great time [just the three of us. After years of finding it very, very difficult to be in the same room [myself and my baby’s father] –we were finally able [by God’s grace] to accept errrm....stuff and let go of all the disappointments. Alexander had the time of his life.....

As always; Christ Birthday started with Alexander and me putting the Christmas tree and ‘our’ kind’ of decorations -up. I’m not a tinselly person but I do love baubles -so I put lots of clear glass vases filled with bauble [of ever colour] all around the flat. Then I shopped like a woman possessed –in the snow [I hasten to add]..

Father Christmas’s sledge made it annual appearance [right outside our window] –the day before my Alexander’s nativity play...At Alexander’s nativity play [the following day] -the older children [year two] had the main roles –so Alexander’s class [year one] took the minor roles and he was one of nine donkeys in the nativity –bless him, -and he done us proud.....[I think all the children have to play a role in school nativities –now, by law [hehehehe], –in my days there was only one donkey ...and if you didn’t have a role to play -you just sat down. My Alexander’s nativity had chickens, cows, a turkey and ‘all sorts’ bless them...





For our Christ Birthday dinner, I cooked Lamb, duck and the usual turkey....and my apple crumble went down –well. I forgot the crackers and I didn’t die...[two years ago this would have killed me]. We used the large white ‘Banana Republic’ plates and my very special white porcelain ‘Limoges’ bowls for our pudding.



I brought out our ‘Rudolph glasses’ and light candles and put flowers all around the house [mainly my favourite pink roses, orange gerberas and Lilies]...

Towards the end of the meal I made some herbal tea [I put it into my ancient bone China ‘Sandon’ Wedgwood teapot and used my latest favourite –hand painted vintage cup and saucer] –lovely . Alexander and his father then demanded hot chocolate.


After some light conversation; more laughter and the opening of presents, –uncle Kwame came to pick up the father and son duo –and took them -to his and auntie Stephanie’s new house in Watford...And me? Well I put my feet up and chilled out [Amen]...then did some blogging [just what the doctor ordered].....And how was your Christmas?...............xxx

Happy New Year ......2010 is the year of ‘New Beginnings’, ‘Restoration’ and ‘Recompense’ [Amen] ..the year of the Susan Boyle(s).....xx

It’s important to acknowledge and thank God that we [and ours] have made it into the New Year [Amen]! Its also important for me to thank my son [‘King’ Alexander ‘Jojo’ Opoku] for being a good boy –and for allowing me [well most days –anyway] to ‘do’ and to be ‘me’. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you [my fabulous readers –especially my subscribers] for your continued support.

I started this blog last year –after closing my model agency [well, the truth is –as a business, the agency was already over –but I was hanging onto it –as I fought to get funding for a magazine -I want to lunch later this year]. And so, my two blogs were born out of a need [a real need] -to keep ‘keeping on’ [Amen]. As you can tell, your sister Paulina just doesn’t do sitting still –and thus, these two blogs have been –and continue to be part of my healing [and my need to ‘express’ myself].

Many of you will relate –when I say that last year –wasn’t easy. A year of LESSONS and GROWTH and COMEBACKS [Amen], -2009 seemed to be a year of ‘one trial after another’ –but thank God that even if ‘weeping endures for a night, –joy will always come in the morning [to those who believe] -Amen. Also, many of us watched as one after another, -‘other’ less talented folks - jumped ahead or were promoted. Many of us had one door after another -shut in our faces –wondering why in the name of fashion did we choose our [chosen] professions, –whilst many [myself included] were literally resurrected like Lazarus from the grave [Amen] –but fear not, -2010 is not just about the ubiquitous fresh start [we all get at the beginning of the year] but about ‘Restoration’, ‘Recompense’ –and ‘Meritocracy’ [Amen]. God is going to restore all that was stolen from you [by the devil or anyone else]; all that was withheld from you’ –and [will] give you back what is rightfully ‘yours’ [Amen] -just like Susan Boyle [-you will dream a dream]!

You will not -be left behind. In fact, many will feel that you have been ‘fast tracked’ –as you overtake [them] and thrive. And note, you will find that the lessons learned [those very ‘lessons’ that once hurt you, -made ‘others’ pity you –and made you the focus of scorn and ridicule] –are the very lessons needed in the positions that God is promoting you too. Because when you have crawled back from hell –what can you not do, achieve or gain –by God’s Grace?

Remember, in 2010 you will not be left behind –but be in front [Amen]. You will be fabulous, ‘excellent’ and powerful but beware, –your ‘Blessings’ might just overwhelm you! Stay beautiful and keep loving…. Paulina Opoku-Gyimah xx

The Chart Show, OBE TV [Sky Digital 207] and Talentless jagger jaggers letting down Ghana ...-I'm not having it!

I was pleasantly surprised with a new show on OBE TV called The Chart Show -this Christ Birthday. It was presented by beautiful newcomer, Foxy [Foxy Nana I think, –sorry there's nothing about her on OBE TV website]. This gorgeous girl was a ‘breath-of-fresh-air’ –and presented the show with an eloquent lightness that I feel has been missing on OBE [of late]. There was none of the Mokola market, desperate craziness that usually greets you with OBE presenters [off cause ‘Sports with Kwaku’ presenter Kwaku Ofosu-Asare, Freedom Walk and God’s Gentleman –are fabulous]. The Chart show is produced by a company called Fineline Production –and can be seen at the weekends on OBE TV [Sky Digital 207].

**I would like to take this opportunity to say just how much I appreciate OBE TV. And even though, -I feel that ‘if you haven’t got anything positive to say about a topic –you shouldn't’t say anything’ –it would appear that our beloved OBE TV is struggling of late…[I pray that Mr. Bernard Ampaw and team OBE get a financial break through in 2010 -Amen]. Anyway, I hope that OBE TV will continue to produce more programs of this caliber -and hopefully acquire more advertising –and thus be able to push forward.

Note; I feel that what is going on with OBE TV -is what is going on in the world of Media/Arts/Entertainment in Ghana [and in the Ghanaian community] on the whole. It would seem -we just don’t have the finances or the togetherness needed to truly get behind: products/services/goods made by our ‘own’ –and thus we have pockets of our ‘people’ struggling to deliver goods/services etc -to an unsupportive public.

Two –where are all the successful Ghanaians, –and why aren’t they helping/assisting/mentoring/financing -some of these great ventures/enterprises that truly benefit Ghana and the Ghanaian community?

Three –but my biggest gripe is with the level of CHEAPNESS -produced and churned out as ‘the best we can do’ –on daily basis. Pick up any magazine made in Ghana and you’ll find the layout –‘less than’, the photographs –ugly, the editorial –very basic and the texts –'copied and pasted'. Watch a music video and you will find the recording artist lacking [or can’t sing], the styling –mediocre, the directors –unprofessional, and the lighting -so terrible that you can’t see anyone in the video properly. It would seem that anyone with a little bit of money and enough greed to 'sink-a-ship' can get on a plane to Ghana and become a publisher, singer, director, doctor or whatever; –without talent, education or experience. And I for one, am sick of the ordinary and the mediocre -parading as talent in Ghana [making us look like we don't have: -style, or substance, are not creative, or beautiful, or talented, or fabulous or educated].

It’s so sad because we Ghanaians are so respected and talented. Go to any country in the west and you’ll see our achievements. You will find our Ghanaian brothers and sisters at the very top of their game –but go to Ghana and you’ll find ‘I-can-afford’, talentless, ‘jagger jaggers’ –running the show. And this is why I never blog about talentless Ghanaians! Ghanaians must realize that all the truly talented people Ghana Rising celebrates –have had to ‘pay their dues’ etc [I started out as an intern on the fashion desk of mainstream high fashion magazine, Elle and worked my way up the ladder. I worked with [huge] egos and women -who didn't eat -and survived [Praise God] and left with real 'experience' etc. And so I know what I’m talking about when I rant about folks -paying their dues]. …...I pray, 2010 –will find [Papa] God promoting all [of us] talented folks, who have had to stay back and watch -as ‘other’ less talented folks - jumped ahead. I pray that we; passionate, extraordinary, artists, innovators, artisans, 'yet-to-be-media moguls', models, presenters etc etc, –will arise by God’s grace and run the show. …….2010 is going to be the year of restoration, recompense –and meritocracy [Amen]. ……Have a Blessed New Year ….xx

2009 The Year of Comebacks..... Behold, God is doing a ‘New Thing’.....

“Remember not the former thing. Neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing, Even now it is springing to light. Do you not perceive it? A way will I make in the wilderness And rivers in the desert!” Isaiah 43:16, 18-19





I believe that, if you haven’t had to start [all over] again by the the age of 35, –then you are either ‘No threat to the devil’–or you haven’t ‘dared-to-live’. I had to comeback again -this year after letting go of my model agency [and other stuff], -and all the heartache that this experience entailed –nearly killed me, but by God’s Grace [Amen] –I am back. And so -I would like to thank God because:

"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. From six calamities he will rescue you; in seven no harm will befall you.” Job 5:17-19

I would also like to send out some BIG Love to Okomfo Kwaade, Lord Kenya, myself, Mischa Barton, Eminem, Whitney Houston, Britney Spears and Holly Johnson [Frankie Goes to Hollywood] and anyone [reading this] –who has had to start again, -and 'comeback' this year. Don’t begrudge the experience folks, –because these are the very lessons –that are needed to get 'you' -to the next level [by Gods Grace ...Amen].

Note, - you’ll know you have been delivered/corrected/healed by God's grace [and are making a comeback] because you will no longer have ‘Anything’ to prove. After the storm, you will notice many things.....-for example; you’ll find that you –can no longer do anything without God [and accept this fact without bitterness]. You’ll also notice that you only have two friends left [if you are lucky /blessed. You will know for sure who your [real] friends are –and be very selective about the rest, -letting only those –who are going to edify and nourish your soul –within an inch of your temple/your being]. Note, - you’ll also find it very difficult to gossip or judge people after this period ...and will be greatly distressed by poverty/injustice/hurting children/bad governance etc. But the most amazing of these new blessings are –the ‘No Bitterness’ and the ‘No Prejudice’ feelings. To hear someone disrespect another [because they come from a different place –say] –is such an ugly experience. I got a big revelation during this period too –and it was to do with God having –purposefully created every human being [of every colour and of every race] –and thus, to hate Polish people [for example] –is to hate God, or hate Jewish/Nigerian/Ghanaian/Gambian people etc – is to hate God [this type of revelation is soo big –and will only come to you ‘during’ a storm]...

But the biggest change is the creativity. I seem to be bursting with lots and lots of creative ideas. I guess there is nothing like coming back from ‘Hell’ to get all your creative juices going –just look at this Blog [hehehe] Merry Christmas folks [and welcome back].......’Big-tings-are-gown’ next year!!! xxx

'Finding Your Feet Charity Fashion Show' for The Diana Award

The 'Finding Your Feet Charity Fashion Show' is only three weeks away -yippee! Showcasing the work of 14 new innovative fashion designers –at top celebrity nightclub, Movida -it promises to be a yummy night of; celebrities, press, raffles, an auction, -and fundraising for The Diana Award. Buy your tickets now!!! xxx

p.s I'm the head stylists so support your girl.....xx

The Spirit: Beauty for Ashes - I am back oOO

The Real Me. I am as free as a bird flying high in the sky.....I am back ooOOO

The real me -right now (with just my blue eyeliner -and errm brushed eyebrows)


Me now (one of the better picture that my son took -yes he is very good)


Me now (made-up at night)


Me B 4 (I was made up by my friend Gifty -way too much make-up)



'The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion -- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.' Isaiah 61:1-3

I remember being 21, and walking into church [in a big baggy knitted jumper dress, black leggins and ultra high platform black boots, with big buckle details -very Rodarte S/S 09] -many, many moons ago. I also remember walking out of the church -a very different person. I also remember asking Father God -that even though I am now a christian -if he could allow me to always know about /be about/ -fashion -and he definitely answered that prayer. In fact, he went further -and turned me into a forecaster [and has enabled me - to predict -the next couple of seasons -in advance] -amen. And thus begun my spiritual life. There was signs and wonders, visions, real love and much more. Then the big lessons started. I remember walking into church and being told that 'Mama Stella' had shared her vision concerning me and I was not there. She told me much later -and it was a revelation. She talked about how God had told her I was going to go through 'hell' ('hell is my interpretation for what she said) and then everything was going to be alright -amen. I also had a very spiritual dream -where the symbol of marriage was used -to demonstrate what was about to take place in my life and it was shocking. First I was shown a wedding -which went very badly, -and then through shock I woke up [for real] -and got angry. I demanded that as a child of God, -I was worth more than that -and strangely feel back asleep. And I dreamt about a wedding again -and this time it was perfect [and I really mean perfect]. So this dream passed -and life went on its merry way [the usual trails and tribulations, the fun and the craziness etc] -then I meet a Ghanaian man [he was born in Ghana -and I was born here -and the differences was huge. And that's all I am going to say on that subject -you can read into it whatever you want -it was hell.] and we rushed into things and I got pregnant. Well, if the Devil had being sleeping, -he arose and turned my life upside down.

I remember after some time away from church, -going back to a service when I was about seven months pregnant. I had left Star magazine -and was nesting [buying stuff and making things ready for my son -yes, I wanted and knew I was having a boy]. As the praise and worship started; -a brother approached me, -and ask if he could have a quiet word, -and we made to the back of the church. He apologized for interrupting my dancing, and went on to explain what God had revealed to him. You see, his wife was also pregnant -and he kept seeing a vision of a pregnant woman crying, seeing this woman suffer, seeing this woman troubled by her child, afraid and all alone. He thought it was his wife but God kept on saying no. God also told him to pray for this woman, -and promised that he was going to deliver this woman, -and that even though things were going to be tough for her at first, -that he would turn things around, -and that her life -would never be the same again -Amen.Well as you can image -I took this on board -we prayed and I went about my business............................................

Fast forward 5 years -and every fear, want, sadness, etc etc -has befallen me. And thus, I have decided to accept -and live in the 'TRUTH'. But my TRUTH had not included -how I looked. I had kind of errm ...stopped looking at myself in the mirror [if you know what I mean]. The last five years -had been so difficult that -for someone who truly loves, beauty, fashion etc -I had only allowed myself a quick glance in the mirror before popping out [and going about my business]. But that changed a couple of months ago. My handsome and beloved son [soon to be five] took some photographs of me [it was late, I was at home, in my nightdress etc -with only my ubiquitous blue eyeliner and my hair was doing its thing -as it does at home] and it sent me into a tailspin -making me loose my balance. I could not recognise the person in the photograph. She seemed fatter, more tired, not as attractive as I was -and therefore couldn't be me, -but there was more!! This person also looked older -and on closer inspection had a bigger nose, -what the hell was going on? I knew it was time to face the truth.

The truth was simple, -I, Paulina Opoku-Gyimah am -no longer 25 years of age and it shows, -and the realisation of the vast difference between myself and the young gals down the road -is pretty shocking. When did it happen? How did age/ time -creep up on me -like this? Also, I had a big birthday looming -and thus, the photographs and my fast approaching [big] birthday -compounded ...erm -a feeling of loss [or whatever]. Someone once told me that red eyes are a sign of maturity [basically an older person] -and guess what? My eyes are red.!! Turning 30 something on the 29th June -means I have finally 'entered' into the 'truth' -physically, -and even though it's not as I would have wished, -I NOW accept -Amen. And as I sit here at my lovely antique desk, in my small sitting room, in my bijou flat -typing, -I have tears rolling down my face. I feel sooo naked -but I am not going to hide anymore -Amen. And I actually feel free -Amen

The truth is -as prophesied way back, -the journey I have been on since the birth of my son -has not been an easy one, -and it now it shows on my face. I became everything -I feared; 'fat, *black [I love my black skin folks], poor [broke but not down -Amen], single-mother living in a Housing Association flat. But I also believe that this was done, so that Father God -could show me; -that by his grace I could be all the aforementioned -and still live and survive -and not die. That we have to overcome obstacles to be great, to learn compassion etc. Well folks, I have made it BACK in one piece [by Gods grace] -and I no longer have those fears. I am also no longer going to, 'rail against God' -or feel SHAME, sadness, and desperation because I am not where I want to be. So I still dislike/hate poverty - my poverty, the limitations that it ensues, but my focus has now changed, folks. I have spent the last five years running; -trying to kick down doors, yearning etc, and praying also, -that if father God wasn't going to give me my hearts desire -than could he allow me to wake up -with a new desire. A desire to work in a supermarket -say, or as a clerk or whatever. Or that I would wake up -wanting the norm, -or the easy or the mediocre or whatever ,-but it was a waste of TIME. And with hindsight , -I wished I had slept and chilled out more -because I now know that for some of us, -NOTHING will happen -unless God wills it, and that there are many lessons to be learnt -before he will give us our hearts desire.

And so you find me -in a place of real acceptance, folks. I accept that my face shows that I left home at the age of 18 -and never went back. That I come from a broken -fragmented home. That I had to look after myself. That I made some mistakes. That I am somewhat estranged from members of my own family. That I overcame rejection, and journeyed to hell and back. It shows the hurt -and many nights of crying, the loneliness of motherhood, -and having to fight for every little thing that I have. My face also shows that I have had to deal with jealousy [real jealousy. The kind that comes to take from you [that even the little that you have -is coveted]. Yes, my face shows; the exhaustion, the shock, me killing myself to be happy for my son (even though I was sick with postnatal depression), trying to do it all by myself, juggling my baby alone, cleaning, writing to make money, starting a business, fighting to give my precious son the best, -running/kicking [on the empty -until I dropped] all of this and more is there.

But I am a winner and a survivor -by Gods grace, -and this is also there -for all to see. My beautiful face also reveals God's love for me. That I am loved by my son and -that I love me. That a have a few but very good friends -Amen. It also shows a sillier me from the past. The 'life-and-soul-the-party'. That, -at the age of 21, God came into my life. That at the age of 25 -I was having a fabulous time whizzing back and forth between Zurich, Switzerland and London. That I partied with A-Lister's, done NYC, Holland, Spain (several times -and mostly with a bunch of friends -fabulous), the Canary Islands, Tenerife, Belgium, France -and slept in a car [over night] in Paris with my mate Anna-Marie [on a journey that saw us drive from London to Spain -via France -and it was fabulous]. That we walked in a field of Sunflowers and it was beautiful. That I have meet some incredible people. That at the ripe old age of 32 -I had my beautiful son -Alexander Jojo [and fell madly in love for the very first time]. And that for the first time in my life, -I wanted to be the very best - I could be. Also, -it shows that I started a model agency -single handed. That I juggle my baby's needs, -whilst looking for funding to start my own magazine -and my need to win. But mostly -that at the age of just over 35 -I have finally learnt to love myself [inside and very slowly working on the outside] -and it shows, -and I accept -Amen

I, Paulina Nana Aba Opoku-Gyimah have 'OVERCOME' and I am a WINNER -Amen. And I believe that as things get easier, and my son becomes more independent, and my wishes start to comes through [it has already started happening] -I will start to sleep and rest more -and thus, will start to look and feel more rested. I also accept the many lessons God has taught me. And even though they were painful and I felt abandoned by Father God at times, -I now accept his teachings/chastening/ corrections etc. I am also very aware of the bigger picture -folks, -and though it is not always clear -I thank God that his plans and thoughts for me are:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I also believe that TODAY is the end of this chapter [for my son and I -amen. And that we are now - under; sweet, merciful, gracious favour -amen.

'My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless, afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight paths for your feet, lest might that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord"

So, I would like to wish myself a happy belated Birthday -and clap for myself as -I tell me just how fabulous I am. Yes I am fabulous. I am a child of God. I am a mother, a provider, and a friend. I am a woman -and not child of 18 or 21 or 27. I have suffered and overcome and I am a survivor. I'm ready for the next 70 plus years. And I am going to live them up, eat them up, fab it up -with zeal and wisdom and power. I am also going to take it easy -on myself, -because I love me and I am proud of me and I am BEAUTIFUL [not just on the inside but on the outside] -and I am worth it -Amen. I am a compassionate, loving, happy, chic, neat, sleek woman; -and I thank God for his grace, and know that my son and I -have a great future ahead of us......Watch this space...........................xx

My so called life: I Feel Like Busting loose, Busting Loose....

“And you know, when you are in this predicament – just the wrong word / conversation ( cheapness, gossip, the mediocre, the ordinary, rubbish, boyfriend blah blahs, wot-less-ness, crap etc etc) can send you over the edge. And so I keep quiet, -picking and choosing whom, I let in -and whom, I leave out.”
Paulina Opoku-Gyimah


“Her drama is four years too late (I now love myself -and no longer feel the need to build friendships or relationships on -a foundation of damage or drama). Plus, my eyes were blown wide open -the day I gave birth to my beautiful son (the day, I entered into 'the' truth) -and started a journey of healing, self-love and deliverance -Amen.”Paulina Opoku-Gyimah


I am in a place of, 'No Drama'. I simply cannot, 'do it' -any more. And even though, -I sometimes find myself 'doing it' -unwillingly, (whilst in the eye of the storm, per say, -because, -as Steven Spielberg said, 'Trials and Tribulations -are a given) -I can no longer do 'other people's -drama', 'fears' or, other people's sh-i-t-t-t. I am in a place where, I can no longer tolerate, -the mediocre, the ordinary or the self pity party (I used to be one, way, way back).

I am in a weird place -folks. A place where I wait, (only) for, 'GOD' (because, -there are times when only God can help). And I feel like, - I might be running out of Patience -but I know (in my higher self) -that God is doing a, 'WORK' and, that, -his time is the best time -Amen. Tapping into the higher me, -has left me quiet, (and some might say, - silent, and in a weird, weird place). I am not a quiet person (by nature) -and over night I have found myself -surprisingly, quiet (it must be the reason -I can't stop blogging). I have found, to my surprise, -that quietness, -is the only solution to my frustrations, and to my wants. And to function like a human being (e.g., love and look after my son, stay sane -whilst I wait on the Lord) – I have to keep still -and very quiet. Stillness and quietness -has enabled me to keep loving, and stay focused in a crazy and sometimes -disparate times. So, I type away (having a great time -folks) -keeping, the volcano inside of me, from erupting -Amen. Because, -like you, -I want to win. I want, what I want, and I want it like, -three years ago (but I know -my breakthrough is just around the corner -please God).

Sometimes, I feel like I am going to burst out of my skin; -like I am busting loose, -and cannot contain myself -and then I remember, 'God's goodness, -and his time, being -the BEST Time' -but it is not easy. I can no longer tolerate so many things -and stay away from them -like the plague. Past friend's -boyfriend Blah blahs -(who cares), people who have lost their drive -(and ambitions) -and are now too afraid to pursue their dreams (this pisses me off -big stylee. I guess I'm jealous, -because, they can walk away from their dreams -and I can't). I now steer clear of the unambitious and uncreative people (who has the time?) -and the worst, -past friends who want to party -like it's 1999, and go clubbing (what? - I am racing towards my -mid thirties and I need to establish things) -please...

I had a strange encounter, -a couple of days ago -via facebook. Someone I knew from school, -and bumped into -briefly last year (we exchanged numbers -and then my telephone number magically changed) -asked me to get in touch with her, -as she was going through a divorce, and will shortly be joining me (in single parenthood -can you believe this?). Also, she wants to talk to me about my business (I used to have a model agency -don't ask, or, -I will bust loose) -I am a lady, so I didn't reply (I believe that some things -are better left, unsaid).

Her drama is four years too late (I now love myself -and no longer feel the need to build friendships or relationships on -a foundation of damage or drama). Plus, my eyes were blown wide open -the day I gave birth to my beautiful son (the day, I entered into 'the' truth) -and started a journey of healing, self-love and deliverance -Amen. I also learnt some painful but valuable lessons. The first lesson ( and the most painful) -taught me responsibly, -that nobody (not God, -not my parents, not even my beautiful son) -owed me, anything (I thank God daily for his love, because even though -he owes me nothing -he loves me -Amen). The second lesson was, acceptance -folks (I have accepted -the good, the bad and the ugly – and it has set me free -and I am no longer a slave to certain feelings or fears -Amen). The third lesson learnt, (people of the sun), -is about LOVE. Just because, -YOU LOVE OTHERS -doesn't mean, others love you or have to love you. And just because you were there for them (others) -during and after their pregnancies etc, -it does not mean, -they will or have to be -there for you -during yours.

But that was then -Amen, and Daddy God has done -and continues to heal me and I am no longer angry. I am just, 'VERY PASSIONATE'. In 2009 folks, you find me -with very little drama (well, -very little drama of my own) and poised for my breakthrough -Amen. And because the 'patience thing' -is errrm, - a bit errm, 'difficult for me, (I am a work in progress -folks) -I am taking it very easy. My gorgeous son is -about the only person I can take any drama from, -right now (and bless him, he is such a tease – and I sooo -sort of need a cigarette -but I gave up that habit last year).

Another past friend, and her sister -and her cousin (yes we were like family -at school?) wants to talk about her marriage (what?), and her four children (I love them but -what? You have never met or asked for my son -please). She wants to talk about going back to her job as a cashier (what?); talk about putting on weight (well, haven't we all, sweetheart?) and finally, -arrange for all of us to meet up (are you for real, -I no longer know you, -and the last time I saw you -the 'Gerry Curl' was in fashion -please). Guess what folks? I didn't reply -(because I am a lady blah, blah -and I will not be drawn into her drama). She, on the other hand, -continues to send me -gifts via facebook (I have set up another account, -for people I want to talk to).

I am sure that many of you -will think me harsh, -but until you get to a place -where you only want -what you want (and can do nothing else) -you wouldn't be able to relate. I remember a friend (a real one) -about ten years ago (a few years after the birth of her gorgeous son) -telling me, -she, no longer wanted to digest, talk about, be about, or think about, -her, 'FEELINGS' -I can now relate. Because there comes a time, when you leave the Dr Phil's of this world -behind (not because they are no good -but because you have out grown that particular stage -and are no longer -about, TALKING ABOUT IT -but are about 'DOING IT -because as DIDDY said, 'YOU HAVE TO BE IN IT, TO WIN IT' -and I am very much -in it, -and poised for the NEXT STAGE. And only God, can help me -now. Because no one can help you, -when the place you find yourself -is no longer enough.

No one can help you -when you are after finances (to start a business, because people usually disappear when it comes to money -don't they), or your HOME is no longer [big] enough, -or your business can no longer contain you, or you have out grow -your location (because the Ghetto is cute and edgy -but after you have a baby -it is not enough -or safe enough etc), -or you are fed-up, with being broke, busted and frustrated (sweetheart only God can help in these situations). And you know, when you are in this predicament – just the wrong word / conversation ( cheapness, gossip, the mediocre, the ordinary, rubbish, boyfriend blah blahs, wot-less-ness, crap etc etc) -can send you over the edge. And so I keep quiet, -picking and choosing whom, I let in -and whom, I leave out. Choosing light (very, very light) conversations over -deep, deep, deep and even deeper S-h-i-t-t-t......Choosing to do more research and gain more knowledge about – my chosen dream venture; -poised as always, for that day, -that moment, -that second (because I know it's around the corner -Amen) -for my breakthrough. And so I persist, tenaciously; -allowing, -only for my son's (and mine own) laughter, the games we play together, -our precious moments together, my work, my blogs, a few selected friends and some family.

Thankfully, -there is goodness and beauty -in quietness. I have found to my surprise -that I have become THANKFUL. The traffic of noise (apart from my son's) that reigned in my home, -the noise of unfruitful conversation(s), the undue stress of other people's drama etc, -has abated and -the stillness, the emptiness (total emptiness -when my son is at school is delicious) and the feeling of peace (sometimes) -has made me truly thankful. I now thank my creator -more, -and daily -for his goodness, -and whilst I am doing this, -I find myself (somehow) closer to where I want to be -Amen.